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 The Making of a Friendship by Debbie Strayer  This is excerpted from Mothers and Daughters - A Friendship for Life, available in Spring of 2007. A John Wayne movie and black olives for a snack…what could be better? When my pilot father was away on trips my mother and I lived in a world of our own. We spent time with my grandparents, cooked, watched old movies and baseball games. We did whatever work needed to be done around the house, or for me there were chores or homework. Since I was an only child, it seemed natural to be together and I cherished those times. It was during these times together that the basis of our friendship was formed. It grew over the years and included my father and other family members, but it was my mother who first showed me what close friendship was like. Our friendship was not perfect, since neither of us was perfect, but it was real and over the years, I have come to appreciate her more and more. A friend is somebody who has a close relationship of mutual affection and trust that is shared with another. It means having confidence in the good qualities of that person. I was blessed with a friendship with my mother. Though she died when I was a young woman, the depth and strength of our relationship has helped shape my life and my relationship with my own daughter. Our relationship began as all relationships begin with parents and children. My mother loved me and instructed me. She taught me the basic things of life as well as how to fulfill duties as a child, grandchild and student. She shared her love for the Lord with me. So our relationship began as a transferring of knowledge and understanding. She would correct me when I was wrong and encourage me when I needed to persevere. I learned a great deal about how to live based on her teaching. My understanding of relationships grew as I watched my mother go about her life. She was a stay at home mom and a wife who cared for my dad and I and our home. She tended to the needs of her parents and was a wonderful friend and neighbor to those around her. I admired her and wanted to be like her. As the years passed and I grew older, my world enlarged to include more people and challenges, yet she remained the mainstay of my life until her death. Scripture talks about our relationship with the Lord growing to become a friendship. It starts out as a parent and child relationship but grows into more. As our friendship with the Lord grows, we are bound less and less by requirements and more and more by love. So it can be with our children. As we become closer friends, we are obligated to one another more out of love and less out of duty. Since the bulk of our lives are spent as adults and not parent and children, this friendship can determine the way the majority of our time is spent with our children. Times became more difficult for my mother when I was in high school. It was during this time that I learned what I had to give to my mother. Though there really wasn’t anything I could do about her struggles, I could be a comfort and a friend to her. We had many long talks and shared thoughts about the past, present and the future. This time of sharing gave me great comfort after her death. Her heart was to give all she could to me, and I was grateful for her care. Considering our relationship set the stage for my own journey into motherhood. When my daughter was born, I was so grateful. Not only was I blessed with a second child; I also had the privilege of having a daughter. Thinking back to my relationship with my mother, my heart’s desire was to be close to Ashley and share the same life-changing depth that I had experienced. I can say with gratitude that the years of our relationship have produced amazing closeness. I have learned so much from her, and I have begun to understand so much about my mother and myself. Join us as we travel the paths of memory and experience. Listen with your heart as we relate our joys and challenges. Find your own relationships in our sharing and look to the future with us. May the love of the Lord surround you as you remember and reminisce and prepare yourself to grow in new ways as a woman and as a much-loved daughter of your heavenly Father. This was excerpted from Mothers and Daughters - A Friendship for Life, available in Spring of 2007. For the daughter's perspective click here. Related Products:  Mothers & Daughters - A Friendship for Life |
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